Hot Topic: Coping with Violence and National Tragedy

Author: CYFERnet School-age, Teen and Parent/Family Editorial Boards, December 2012

With the world sending their thoughts to Newtown, Connecticut in the aftermath of the most recent school shooting, the CYFERnet team is mindful that many professionals and volunteers working with children, youth, and families at risk want to lend a hand to those impacted by this tragedy. With the goal of putting information at the fingertips of those planning a response, we recommend the following resources.

For guidance on how parents and caretakers can help their children, excerpted from the Little Listeners in an Uncertain World: Coping strategies for you and your young child after traumatic events resource developed in response to 9/11:

The primary role of parents is to protect children. Young children do not need to be told about traumatic events that they have no way of understanding. Keep the following in mind:

Turn off TV and radio news reports; don't leave newspapers lying around.
Ask friends and family not to discuss the scary event around your child.
Maintain your child's regular routine.

Behaviors you might see in young children who have been exposed to a traumatic event:

Increased clinginess, crying and whining
Greater fear of separation from parents
Increase in aggressive behavior
More withdrawn and harder to engage
Play that acts ouy scary events
Changes in sleeping and eating patterns
More easily frustrated and harder to comfort
A return to earlier behaviors, like frequent night-wakening and thumbsucking

What you can do:

Respond to your child's need for increased attention, comfort and reassurance. This will make him feel safer sooner.
Pay close attention to your child's feelings and validate them. Ignoring feelings does not make them go away.
Help your child identify her feelings by naming them (scary, sad, angry, etc.).
Offer your child safe ways to express feelings, such as drawing, pretend play, or telling stories.
Don't discourage your child's play because you find it disturbing. Young children work through frightening events by reenacting them through play. If your child seems to be distressed by his play, comfort him and redirect him to another activity.
Be patient and calm when your child is clingy, whiny, or aggressive. He needs you to help him regain control and feel safe.
Answer children's questions according to their level of understanding: "Yes, a bad thing happened but we are keeping you safe."

Resources

A National Tragedy: Helping Children Cope
National Association of School Psychologists
Available at: http://www.nasponline.org/resources/crisis_safety/terror_general.aspx

Purple Wagon
Purdue Extension. A website for those interested in helping parents and children explore and discuss terrorism, war, and peacemaking.
Available at: http://www.extension.purdue.edu/purplewagon/

Talking with Children When the Talking Gets Tough
Purdue Extension
Available at: http://www.extension.purdue.edu/purplewagon/PARENTS/Resources/TalkChildrenTalkGetsTough.pdf

How to Talk to Kids About Violence: A Response from Parenting Press
Available at: http://www.parentingpress.com/violence/intro.html

Helping Children Exposed to Shocking Events
Hand in Hand
Available at: http://www.handinhandparenting.org/news/32/64/Helping-Children-Exposed-to-Shocking-Events

Helping Children After A Disaster
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Available at: http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Helping+Children+After+a+Disaster§ion=Facts+for+Families

Terrorism, TV and Our Children
Penn State University
Available at: http://betterkidcare.psu.edu/TerrorismNewsRelease.html

The Tragedy at Fort Hood: Helping Your Children Cope
Kids Growth
Available at: http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/articledetail.cfm?id=2270

Coping With a Disaster or Traumatic Event
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Available at: http://www.bt.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/

Managing Strong Emotional Reactions to Traumatic Events: Tips for Parents and Teachers
National Association of School Psychologists
Available at: http://www.nasponline.org/resources/crisis_safety/angermgmt_general.aspx

Recognizing Stress in Children
Available at: http://www.preparerespondrecover.com/childrensneeds/

Answering Children's Questions About Terror, War or Crisis
Minnesota Council on Family Relations (scroll down to page 5)
Available at: http://www.mcfr.net/Newsletter/2002/2002_spring.pdf

Caring for Kids After Trauma, Disaster and Death: A Guide for Parents and Professionals
The New York University Child Study Center
Available at: http://www.aboutourkids.org/files/articles/crisis_guide02.pdf

Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters: For Parents of Children Exposed to Violence or Disaster
National Institute of Mental Health
Available at: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/helping-children-and-adolescents-cope-with-violence-and-disasters-parents/helping-children-and-adolescents-cope-with-violence-and-disasters-what-parents-can-do.pdf

After a Disaster: Helping Young Children Heal
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network
Available at: http://main.zerotothree.org/site/DocServer/NCTSN_Disaster_Guidelines.pdf?docID=2162&AddInterest=1142

Need more information? There are many more resources on responding to and dealing with traumatic events in the CYFERnet database.